Monday Thoughts.

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Good Morning,

Today I would like to say thank you to everyone who lets their actions speak louder than their words. Those who go out of their way to help their fellow human beings.

Those who look past color,shape,religion, and any other so called stigma and embrace those whom, at their core, are living life with dignity and integrity.

I would like to thank those who live and act in positive ways to bring, not only this nation, but this world closer to peace and understanding, no matter how large the task may seem.

Simply say what you mean and mean what you say and then follow through with positive actions;humanity will thank you for it.

Have a spectacular day. Live positively.

Sunday Silence

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yoga

The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy. – Proverb

Spend Sunday doing absolutely nothing. No work. No worries. No stress. No drama. Rather that engage in anything that causes you distress; meditate. Meditation helps you regain your focus, balance and you.

Use this day to rest, relax and rejoice.


I found the following while browsing the web one day.

Meditation is a completely free exercise, it requires no expensive equipment, no costly memberships to a gym and can be practiced anywhere at any time as is vital to a person’s wellbeing. Quieting the mind is an essential component to relieving stress along with list of other healthy benefits such as.

1. Reduces the activity of viruses and emotional distress.

2. Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis…etc.

3. Enhances the immune system.

4. Decreases muscle tension.

5. Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.

6. Significant relief from asthma.

7. Relaxes our nervous system.

8. Increases serotonin levels that influence mood and behavior.

9. Improves learning ability and memory function.

10. Helps in quitting addictions such as smoking and alcohol.

11. Increases ones awareness to see the bigger picture in any situation.

12. Decreases restless thinking and your tendency to worry.

13. Increases self-actualization.

14. Brings about a deeper understanding of yourself and others.

15. Brings the mind, body, and spirit into harmony.

Don’t Smother Each Other.

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Couple Kissing at Sunset

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade – Leo Buscaglia

 

 

The long-lived battle of the sexes.

 

“He doesn’t understand me.”

“He won’t help around the house.”

 

“She always nags.”

“The sex is gone.”


 

Aah, the joys of a relationship.

When you add the everyday activities (stresses) work, kids, afterschool activities, not enough time in the day to accomplish everything, it seems the first to go is your relationship with your spouse.  You simply put this on the back burner – intimacy goes out the window.  (If you have small children; there literally is not enough time to spend a wonderful evening alone.  Or is there?)

Date night. We have all heard of it.  We use to do it when we were actually dating,  send text messages all day long, look forward to when we would be done with work, and then look our best in order to ‘impress’ our date in hopes of a romantic kiss (or more) at the end of the evening.  What happened?  Life happened of course.  AND it is the normal progression of a monogamous relationship — we get comfortable.    Even in causal relationships, we tend to revert to being comfortable and therefore do not put the effort in to looking our best — we rarely bring our ‘A’ game.

Consistently bringing your ‘A’ game to the relationship table isn’t always easy, but when you make it a priority in your healthy lifestyle, (actually writing it down in your Strategic Life Plan) then your more apt to create a healthy habit of being physically and mentally fit for your partner.  Like any other positive habit you create, it takes determination to set aside time for workouts, healthy meals (cook people, cook) and finding a sitter for your children.

There is the other spectrum of the relationship game; those who choose to hover too closely; stalk the other person.  A clinger of sorts, as they wish to be rescued and therefore cannot afford to let go and become their own person. This type of person must be avoided by all means and if you are this type of person; discover who you are and why you are so afraid of being ‘alone’.   Being alone and being single are two different things entirely. When one is happy with their own company then being single is a wonderful thing. When one isn’t happy with their own company then being single turns into being alone, trouble begins.

Relationships, intimate ones at least, must give both parties room to grow, as being too close shall create an atmosphere of co-dependence. Being in a co-dependent relationship in which one does not have outside interests is not a healthy one and only leads to arguments and discord.

One must pursue individual interests in order for a relationship to thrive. What is it that you pursue that is yours and yours alone?

 

 

 

Never Spend More Than You Have.

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Burning Money

Never spend your money before you have it. Thomas Jefferson

Do you have more money at the end of your month? Do you spend your money on unnecessary things life Starbucks or fast-food? Do you have a monthly budget? do you keep receipts and write down every purchase? Are you aware of where your money goes?

If you do not have a budget, create one by writing down every bill you have, every expense you incur and then compare them with your income. If your expenses are higher than your income evaluate where you must cut back in order to save for your retirement.

AND THEN ASK YOURSELF . . .

Do you need more education in order to help bridge the gap between expenses and income? Education need not have to come in the form of a 4 year degree and some fancy university nor cost you thousands of dollars. An education can come in the form of a single class to sharpen skills you already possess or a certificate in a specific field of study. Employ the knowledge of a dietitian if you need to begin a clean diet. Employ the knowledge of a physical trainer in order to learn how to exercise properly. Employ the knowledge of a financial expert to learn how to balance your budget. Employ an expert in the field in which you wish to obtain knowledge.

Most importantly learn all you can about finance and how you spend your money as the root of all evil is not money but rather, the lack of it. One can never be too rich. Just imagine all the good you can do when you have more money in the bank and you are no longer struggling.

Never Be Bullied

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Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. – Robert Frost

She got pregnant: It was an accident, she can’t be to blame, nor can you. These things happen. Yes, these things do happen, yet I can tell you right now that more often than not, a young woman who conducts herself in this manner is looking to be rescued, and those women who are still in their late-teens to early-twenties are not only looking to be rescued, but they are also looking for love in all the wrong places. A baby will not give her the unconditional love and support that she is lacking – there is a reason she slept with you – she believes that sex and love are the same thing.

I urge men to be wary of women who have children at a young age – those who have never been married and yet have the offspring to show for some sort of relationship; especially if she had a child while a teenager herself. Unless she has gone through counseling, and completely understands the deep-seated emotional reasons behind the entire situation, stay away. She will not only not grow up, and not accept responsibility, but there is also the strong likelihood that she will trap you into becoming a father to her existing child, as well as conceive another one with you – hence the whole “rescue” me ploy.

She will claim that she loves you, when indeed she needs you, because she does not know how to stand up and become the person she can be: this will lead to a life of drama. Living in “Drama-land” is not where you want to be: in the center is the town of “Nags-a-lot” and believe me gentlemen, you do not wish to visit, let alone live there.

Never be bullied into a relationship that will not provide you with everything you need. . . i.e., love.

 

Bloom Where You Are Planted

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Bloom-Where-You-Are-Planted

American society has gone from working to live to living to work. We work tremendous hours, shuffle our children to unnecessary sporting events, meetings, and other things they simply do not need. The over-scheduled family is a huge problem.  We have tossed aside budgets of all sorts, a health budget, an exercise budget, a financial budget, relationship budgets; the list encompasses all aspects of our personal and professional lives. When we realize we must run our private lives as we would a business, budgets are simply part of routine and become a positive contributing habit.  

Women, in particular, have become more harried in all that we do; the boss needs us, our family needs us, our children need us, everyone is counting on us to step up and take care of everything for everyone and that leaves us without enough time nor energy to take care of the one person who needs taking care of. . . US.

Ambition is a great thing, don’t get me wrong. I understand that most women must work outside the home to survive and also raise a family; yet to become like a man to get the job done is wrong and we (women) must revert back to be soft, sexy, nurturers that we naturally are. Women were not meant to be men nor act like them. We must remember who we are at the core: Yin to the Yang. 

Women are not subservient; they are a vital component to the entire equation, without feminine ways, (Yin) to complete their male counterparts (Yang), life is out of balance. The feminist movement has skewed our role toward the Yang thus creating a significant imbalance. When women understand how vital their role is to society as the Yin to the Yang then there is no imbalance, there is simply harmony. It is a vital message that feminists have missed in their quest to find equality. This is not to say, by any stretch of the imagination that laws that have been passed to bring about change regarding discrimination against women are not important, they are; yet Yin and Yang are interdependent upon each other and without this delicate interplay, each is lost. Deeper understanding of Yin and Yang is such that, Yang is the protector of Yin and Yin nurtures Yang and therefore, together they are perfectly balanced as a whole.

Having said that, we must understand that changing our outward appearance by lopping off all our hair, undergoing Botox and plastic surgery is not the way to go about achieving all your goals. Instead change your appearance by budgeting time for a healthy lifestyle, exercise, organic whole foods (learn to cook). Grow your hair long, wear a bit of makeup, meditate, read and relax. Go outside commune with nature. Grow a garden. Enjoy your family. Be grateful for all that you have. Be grateful for every hardship you have gone through. Be grateful for every twist, turn, dip and bend in your road of life, as it is on this road and in these hardships that have shaped who you are as a person.  Think about it, if you hadn’t done A. then B. wouldn’t have happened. Even the stupidest mistake you made led you down the right path, even though you didn’t see it at the time.

Gratitude holds hands with your Attitude. When you focus on the positive and all that you have, being truly grateful, while working towards where you wish to be you may just find that your career is waiting for you at home. Run your personal life as a business and you shall. . .

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.

Before we can create a budget we must first identify who we truly are.

The Potter Principle – Best Practices

Self Discovery Worksheet

Please use a sheet of paper as this is merely a guideline to get you started.

Do something positive today; take that first step toward your goals.

List of my positive attributes.

  1. _________________________________________________

  1. _________________________________________________

  1. _________________________________________________

List of areas I need to improve.

  1. _________________________________________________

  1. _________________________________________________

  1. _________________________________________________

What is holding me back from experiencing success?

(List thoughts, feelings, emotions, limiting beliefs, old paradigms, and resentments.)

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

What can I change? What actions can I take to have new and rewarding experiences?

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

What resentments am I ready to let go of? Who am I ready to forgive? (This includes you.)

What habits am I ready to eliminate? What lifestyle am I ready for?

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

  1. _________________________________________________

 

What new rich experiences, beliefs, and lifestyle conditions do I want to have today?

  1. _________________________________________________

  1. _________________________________________________

      3. _________________________________________________

Streamlining Your Life.

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IAM

Somewhere in recent history, women’s work – staying home and raising a family – has become akin to a symbol of slavery. However, quite to the contrary, to run a household efficiently and effectively, and turn a profit, one needs to understand basic business principles. If you do not, then, yes, I can possibly see how it may seem like drudgery, but I am still a fan of “women’s work.”

Efficiency is the key to running your business (in this case your home). When there is efficiency; there is profit. We measure profit in several ways: Monetarily speaking, owning and spending less will save you money. It is just that simple. Time management should also be high on your list. You may ask yourself, “How will this save me time, if I have to do everything from scratch?” Well hold on, planning is the key to time management; plan your meals, your grocery list, and you will free up more time than you would have imagined. Physical Profit—by doing most of the tasks manually, you will be using your body, resulting in a workout simply through doing housework. Healthier lifestyle: healthier happier you. Once you have gained your ‘physical profit,’ you will easily move to the higher level of profiting from less stress and drama.
Think of running your household in the same way you would run a company.

You will need:

Inventory: Food, soaps, detergents, cleaning supplies, clothing…etc.

Equipment: Vacuum, Washer, Dryer, Dishwasher, Computers, Phones…etc.

Utilities: Cable, Phone, Mobile Phones, Water, Electricity, Gas, Trash Collection…  etc.

Office space: Children need a place to play and homework spaces. Adults need work-spaces. You need outdoor spaces: one needs a break room after all.

 

Organization: You will need folders or files for keeping track of purchases, utility bills, auto maintenance, and equipment maintenance (washer/dryer, dishwasher, water heater, air conditioning, lawn mowers, snow blowers…etc.)

Contacts:  physicians, mechanics, tax agents…etc. Create a contact list that not only serves your family, but your life as well. Networking in all areas of life helps build a foundation of resources.

Finance: Savings accounts for back-up cash flow: 10 to 20% of your income each paycheck.  Paying yourself first is of utmost importance.

Checking Accounts: for immediate cash flow: budgeting every penny you spend will lead to having money left over at the end of the month, rather than more month left after money.  (Simply do not spend more than you earn.)

Retirement Accounts: for long-term spending: think of a retirement account the same way a company plans for long-term debt. Your retirement is long-term debt, money you owe over a period of years to pay off a balance; that balance would be what you will live on when you no longer wish to work. If you begin to look at retirement savings this way, you will succeed in paying off that ‘debt’ and the reward will be collecting on it later in life. Keeping track of your retirement account and reviewing it once a year, will serve you well. What will your R.O.I.(return on investment) be? Could it be better?

You need to understand how basic business works in order to establish a well-oiled, profitable, machine that is your business: your life. You may or may not have team members (spouse, children), depending upon where you are in life. Either way if you manage your business correctly, it will serve you well, thus eliminating one source of stress and bringing you one step closer to the harmony you desire.  Let us begin in the kitchen where you may find you have more inventory and equipment than your company needs.

Create a Chart – Make Each Day Count. 

I realize those of you with families may find it difficult to designate one day for laundry, one day for cooking, etc. Yet it is not impossible. Instead of Monday being laundry day, make it Saturday or resolve to do one load an evening – throw it in the washer when you get home from work, right before you head out to walk around the block.

As a child, you thrived on structure and there was a set time to do everything. Why are you not using this system in your adult life? Your mom was right, you cannot live your life by the seat of your pants, nothing will be accomplished – not only will unfinished projects accumulate, so will stress.

Take a proactive approach to life – being proactive instead of reactive, removes the stress of not knowing what is coming next, and replaces it with the serenity of knowing that everything is taken care of, and all is in working order. By working each day, picking one thing out of your ‘to-do’ list you will accomplish so much more than trying to tackle everything all at once – multi-tasking is NOT the answer. If you begin, and subsequently finish, one task, you will not only complete something, but also the satisfaction of completing that something will fill you with a sense of accomplishment and pride – this is indeed good for the soul.

 

Multi tasking leaves you disappointed and frustrated.

 

Why do four things simultaneously with mediocrity, when instead, you can do one thing at a time with perfection? This whole notion of multi-tasking is nonsense and should be thrown out of your vocabulary immediately. For those of you that just muttered something about being assigned a million things at once in your job, how your ‘in-box’ is overflowing with projects, tasks, and those things you ‘will get to,’ I hear you and I understand. I multi-tasked my life away in all my roles, both personal and professional. I squandered away nearly 25 years of my life, not knowing what was next, running this way and that. It created enough havoc to send me running to the nearest psychoanalyst to help me work through the issues. As it turned out, I had a ton of issues and the biggest was trying to be everything to everyone: I had missed the point of life from the very beginning.

Engage your brain.

My father always said, Engage your brain, when one of us did something stupid, although I do believe it usually fell under the category of Do as I say and not as I do, since I do not recall my father ever following his own advice. As crass at that may sound, it is a simple statement of facts. At any rate, it is wise to think before you act.

Come to think of it, neither of my parents ever really followed their own advice; my father constantly telling me to go out and seize my future as it wasn’t going to just show up at my front door, and my mother always saying, fail to plan, plan to fail. Later in life, my father always told me to have my ducks in a row, which was most important; yet on the day of his death, within hours, we were out trampling about in search of a resting place for him at the local cemetery.

One would have thought that he would have placed all his ducks in a row before his demise; he did, after all, have cancer and knew precisely where he was headed. Perhaps one’s impending death does not create a need to practice what you preach. I do not know what my father’s final thoughts were, nor if he was afraid of death, all I know is that he was tired – tired of being sick and that his time on this earth was finished because his body simply ran out of steam.

Do not get stuck in a rut, nor should you continue to multi-task as this will leave you frustrated and angry; we all know that frustration and anger will lead to health issues and believe me, as a cancer warrior, you do not wish to sacrifice your health because of your anger.  Run your like a business; understand all basic business principles as these will take you far.  Ask yourself, each day, if you are turning a profit in ALL aspects of your life; personal, professional, health, financial,emotional, spiritual. If the answer is no to any of these, the it is time reassess a few things and move towards total abundance.

Be grateful for every moment, every breathe, every star in the heavens above.  Take comfort in the ordinary. Celebrate the ordinary. Enjoy the laundry, dishes, housework, all the ordinary activities of life simply because you are doing them for the ones you love.

Changing your perspective will transform the ordinary into the EXTRAordinary.

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Decisions

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decisions

Life presents us with challenges of all sorts; from traffic on our daily commute to children squabbling, relationships confrontations, dealing with controlling individuals; all causing stress, which then may throw our health out of whack and as such, creating an unbalance in our lives.  While these things may be out of our control, how we approach and deal with them is completely within our control. Thus we can manage every curve-ball that comes our way. 

The key to remember is that we cannot stop them from happening but we can certainly manage them when they do occur. The right choice is not necessarily the easiest.

Life and everything in it is a choice; choose wisely. 

 

 

Clarity, Balance, Purpose

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Understand.  Appreciate.  Comprehend.  Know.

Becoming compassionate towards yourself and others is what helps bring our world closer together and the peace we find within glows brightly for the world to see.

Appreciate all that you are, the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Be aware of the difference between your wants and needs and act accordingly.

Know that you can change the world by the choices you make.

Trust

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Trust holds hands with honesty and respect.  Interwoven, one depending upon the other to being complete.

Listening to what your soul is whispering is the beginning of trusting.

Trust is a delicate thing, it can be lost in an instant, and once it is lost, it is difficult to regain.

When we connect trust, honesty, and respect, the world ceases to be a vast place of billions of people with billions of conflicting views – instead it is transformed into a peaceful paradise.